The Little Girl Turned 18

Yes, she just turned 18 months old last Friday and I felt the need to post something special for her. Since I stayed at home today to get some needed rest, I also had a good time browsing our not so old photo buckets. I can still remember the surreal feeling the first time I laid my eyes on her. For a while, I felt sad because we are no longer one and that I will miss her kicks inside my over-sized belly. But when I touched her face and kissed her cheeks so gently, fast forward scenes flashed through my mind leading and welcoming me to my new journey on Earth - motherhood. Honestly, I got scared, well who doesn't? I'm scared because with your fragile body, I know I want everything that's best for you and I will never forgive myself if I fail on that. Instantly, I want to be your own comfort zone. 

I enjoyed the late night feedings and short naps in between. I felt courageous when I started bathing you and felt the pain too when you had rashes all over your face. Your skin reacted so badly with that baby bath we bought for you during my 28th week. I get paranoid with all the consequences if I do things the wrong way even with your grandma's constant reminders. I cried when you cried on your first vaccine, good thing your Dad was there to calm me down as I held you in my arms. I carefully observed the best milk that suits your digestion and appetite. I jumped in awe when you pronounced your first words and I almost fell off from my chair when you decided to take your first step. Your first attempt to go up through our stairs gave us trembling knees and mini heart attacks. You filled our humble abode with so much joy and laughter. In all these events, I'm thankful that there's Facebook and Twitter to announce your little achievements, otherwise, your Dad will get tired hearing them over and over again. 

 

Tomorrow when I get back from work, I'll be counting how many teeth you have now. I'm sure you're still asleep when I leave in the morning. Last time I check, you got 6 both on your lower and upper gums. I may not be with you for the whole duration of the day but I can't miss my breaks without checking on you over the phone. God knows how excited I am hearing you on the other line. I  hope you understand that your parents need to work to support all our needs most especially yours. It was heartbreaking to be separated from you just so I could go back to work mid last year. 

You know anak, I feel very proud whenever I see you holding a book, a magazine or a bottle container with anything written on it, pretending like you can already read by saying those words aloud even if we don't understand any. Or act like a real weather forecaster pointing at our old TV as if it has a touch screen. I admire how observant you've become, you were only 13 months old when you learned how to tinker my phone and music playlist. You are already a star for me when you show your cute dancing steps and I feel like a diva when you smile at me cheerfully when I sing to you  a familiar song. My weekends were now meaningfully spent especially when the three of us walk together while you at the center and would always insist to hold our hands. 

You are so sweet my little darling and I really wish I could embrace you all day as I smell your soft hair. I'm thankful that we're now in a digital era wherein the only challenge to document your baby years is to be holistic on each progress. I want to witness all of them anak, but for now, please don't grow up so fast. Mommy wants to cherish all these moments with you gradually before you finally turn 18. Yes, the real 18. And hopefully by that time, I will still see you wearing your daintiest pink gown on your special day. I love you so dearly my princess and as early as now I'd like to thank you for making me realize that I have this strength I had never thought I could have. PS. Mommy will buy you your first Lalaloopsy doll this weekend. ♥

Much Love,

Your OneGutsyMommy